today i feel: suddenly bad
today i'm hearing: lem chowing down in the corner
today i'm thinking: am i bipolar??
today i'm hearing: lem chowing down in the corner
today i'm thinking: am i bipolar??
Firstly, let me say that today has been predominantly good except for taking my test this morning and right now when I found out the results of said test. Please understand that.
Secondly, let me say that these moments of emoness are rather necessary in a teenager's life, which I still technically am for another twelve hours. Therefore, I don't have to feel bad for these things until said twelve hours have passed, and even then I'll probably find another excuse for this sort of thing (I'm guessing 'it's that time of the month' will be one of the permanent options).
Thirdly, let me say that I am getting this out of my system before tomorrow because, so help me G-d, I am having a fun birthday for once in my life that is fight-free and hospital-free and drama-free and devoid of dogs tackling grandmothers and feeling bad about not spending enough time with my mother. ...Damnit.
So here is it:
I am an absolute failure. I suck at everything. I will never be good at anything I try to do because I am stupid and worthless and completely devoid of purpose because G-d didn't want me to happen in the first place. I will never ever be good at anything ever. Ever.
Okay. I'm done. I'm going to go read the funny blog that Tony sent me and try to feel good about myself.
2 comments:
Piper loves being with you. So do Kimb and myself. As to value, you write well and amuse me. I look forward to your comments to my writing. And I love your poetry. That may not mean much in the world's terms, but it means something to me. Plus you are a lovely girl and a fine actress. I'll never forget your "Into the Woods" performance. And I remember your production of "Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern". You are definitely more valuable than I was at your age. Does this help? I don't know. I think it is hard to discern what you think it is all about at the time of life you are occupying. It's really not unlike surfing a sea of ideas, constantly trying to catch a wave that will stay up.
Anyway, Piper loves you. So do I.
erik say:
you kept me sane this summer. thanks!
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