and i feel like i should wear a low-cut shirt

today i feel: up and down. fucking patterns.
today i'm hearing: chelsea wanting to do her homework
today i'm thinking: i failed my final on people

I have this friend ('friend') being a very lose term in this situation, mind) whom I met at the scholarship interviews last February. Basically, he was running around and being amusing in an attempt to get everyone to chill out because, haha, scholarship interviewees do not chill. I think we ended up eating lunch with him or something; I don't know. Anyway, I got down to school and discovered that he likes on Le Pointe with me and I run into him periodically and that's fun, whatever. He randomly called me tonight (which is odd because, despite the fact that he has my phone number, he doesn't know my name) and has since been texting me, apparently trying to get me to come hang out with him.

Now that the exposition is over, let me get to the point of this wee little opus and the beginning of this evening's blog. Chelsea just informed me that I am flirting back. Which I was honestly not aware of. Because I am secretly a boy. That, and I'm related to my father who I've seen flirt with inanimate objects. Thus, I usually don't realise when I'm flirting (a couple of people are complete exceptions. They know who they are). I mean, I was pretty sure he was flirting with me, but he also doesn't know my name. I kind of figure that guys hit on girls whose names they don't know. And now to tonight's topic.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND PEOPLE

Now, originally, I thought I had a pretty good grip on people. People are easy. All you have to do is accept the fact that they make absolutely no sense, and you're golden. People are not logical people and they make bad decisions and that's groovy; whatever. I can dig that. That makes sense to me. A lot of people have good reasons for doing the things you do, and that's even better because then I can justify their actions and not get upset with them. I've discovered that I can prevent myself from disliking a person or becoming angry with them so long as I can find justification for whatever dumbassery they decide to trot themselves into.

Chowever.

A lot of things have been going on in my life recently. (Haha welcome to LIFE, comrade!) These things puzzle, confuse and, at times, enrage me. And I try to justify these actions--which, to me, is the way to forgiveness--and sometimes I just can't. And when I can't, I get upset at the person. ...I've been upset a lot this week. No one's fault, really. Well, no one that reads this. ...At least I hope they don't read this. ...Now comes the paranoia.

I don't know. I'm frustrated about this. Thus, I blog. Congratulations, friends. You are privy to my angst. I'm going to go 'bring this upon myself', as Chelsea so bluntly put it. Farewell.