this parade will never end

today i feel: tired
today i'm hearing: new cd my da bought
today i'm thinking: this whole sick thing can go away kthnxbai

So I went to the doctor's today. This time, I took the train up to Champaign and drove to Bloomington to see my actual real physician, who I have never met before. He's a pretty cool guy, though. The idea was that he'd check out my ears and ship me off to the specialist if need be.

Apparently, my ear infection is sort of healing. Okay.

Apparently, I have blisters on my right ear drum. So that's not good.

Apparently, the only thing a specialist can do for me is poke a hole in both of my ear drums so that some of the pressure is relieved and I, theoretically, get better. My doc doesn't really want to have to do that and, quite frankly, neither do I. SoSo I'm supposed to give it another MONTH to SIX WEEKS and then we'll start talking specialist and ear drilling and unpleasantness and why is this taking so long it is a stupid ear infection I hate the world.

So he took me off of my ear drops and the amoxicillin + crap, and he told me to finish up the steroids I'm on. Then he gave me this new kind of medicine which may or may not cause me to almost die (which it, or a similar medication, apparently did to my grandmother...?). Whatever. At least he was honest and straightforward and gentle with the thing he shoved in my ears. I've had worse, especially recently.

No, I am not on pain meds. Yes, I did fight with the doctor when he offered to put me on something. I've been incapacitated enough recently, thank you. I am a stubborn old bitch and you should all know that by now.

So I don't know what's going to happen. And I don't know if I'm going to get better. But it's definitely looking like a long rest of the semester. Jesus H.

Hope you are well.