it breathes on its own

today i feel: up and down
today i'm hearing: borat's theme in my head
today i'm thinking: relationships aren't all they're cracked up to be

I'm dicking around before I go to rehearsal. This is just a paper gig, so I'm not really inspired to set anything cool up. I'm just figuring I'll go, schedule a couple of costume fittings, get an actor's packet, and go hang out with Randy. We're seeing a poetry reading tonight. Chic, non? I feel so hip. I should probably wear black eyeliner and listen to Fall Out Boy.

The past couple of days have been really crazy. Chelsea and Matt had a 'thing' last night. I'm not entirely sure what constitutes as a Matt-n-Chelsea 'thing' except that it usually involves me getting Quatro's Deep Pan Pizza and telling Chelsea that she needs to smack Matt's nose with a newspaper before rubbing it in the mess. This is actually a lot more effective at making her feel better than you would think. At least I'm assuming so. She usually laughs.

Last night's 'thing' was another installment in the Matt Won't Answer His God Damn Phone saga -- an epic I am well-versed in thanks to the past year. Matt doesn't seem to understand this concept that Chelsea cares about him enough to worry when he a.) doesn't pick up his phone and 2.) disappears for hours on end. Personally, I think it's a pretty easy idea to grasp, but Matt is from Downer's Grove and people are really weird up there.

But they worked it out. So things are cool, I guess. Weird.

Then Clarky had a big falling out with his boy-toy this afternoon. Again: a phone issue. It's making me very glad I left mine at home today. He's pretty torn up about it, but I think he'll be okay. It sounds like a misunderstanding and nothing more, but Clarky's boy-toy isn't the brightest light in the sky and tends to be a drama queen more often than not. Hopefully, he'll be okay. Clarky, not boy-toy. He's not on a good list right now in Kirius Land.

I notice these relationship issues, though, and it makes me kind of happy that I'm in the awkward, but at least functional, middle ground that I'm in right now. Yeah, there are issues (mainly the fact that I like him a lot and he's trying to ignore that fact), but we're wading through them, slow and steady. And I can still have a cute-but-potentially-embarrassing picture of him on my desk without being depressed. It is a Good Place. I could hang out here for a quite a while. I would probably grab a book, though, if permanent residence were required. ...Not a lot happens. WHICH IS WHY IT IS A GOOD PLACE. I'm too tired for copious angst right now. That's why I'm going home.

Yes! I am going home tomorrow. I will sit on a train and I will knit and read and then I will eat popcorn and be happy about life. Then I will write up my cueing script and perfect it and conn my mother into buying me post-it flags. She is very succeptible to such things. I manipulate it to my will. But I am going home and that is a very, very beautiful thing. I could dig that for quite some time.

In the meantime, I'm going to truck across the road for my quick-n-dirty rehearsal before being hip. I hope all of you are well and at least mildly entertained.