you'll be better

today i feel: crummy
today i'm hearing: the air conditioner in my room
today i'm thinking: i am the cause of everything bad...

...Which I know is not true.

I think I'm falling into cycles again. I am now starting the self-deprivation portion of the cycle. It might just be that I'm really, really tired and I feel behind on everything and I had a kind of rough night last night; I don't know. I just don't feel good. And I don't really like myself right now. ...Yeah.

I just don't really like myself right now. And I keep feeling like I'm upsetting people by making really tasteless jokes. And I know that they don't feel that way and they are pushing me away from feeling guilty about it, but I do feel that way. I feel bad. About everything. And I don't really like myself right now.

I just don't. That's all.

We got a kitty. I'll talk about that some other day.