wind and water and sky

today i feel: silly
today i'm hearing: summer and birds and outside and yay
today i'm thinking: perspective is key

I feel a rambling coming on. This could get seedy.

Today I wrote something. And it was short and kind of sexy and had no connection to anything, really, other than it popped into my head when I was driving back from Clarky's and I wanted to write it down, so I did. And I sent it to Chelsea because she was one of two people who wouldn't have the response of 'What the fuck, Kiri?' and the other person would be terribly confused (though likely flattered) by my sending of porn to him/her. Hopefully Chelsea won't have the response of 'What the fuck, Kiri?' because I was really hoping it might, I don't know, make her smile or something. Meh. I don't know. It was nice to write something random and dirty again. I've missed that.

Oogie is hitting on Wampus. His efforts are failing, I fear.

I've been noticing a lot of trivialities recently. Don't really know why. I've just been realising that we, as humans, focus on that sort of thing a great deal. I don't think it's because we're shallow or petty, either. I think it's because thinking about the small, silly things help us to forget about the big, scary things that go with all of the trivialities. Like if a lion is outside of your door, you won't focus on the lion because he could eat you, right? Or your family or your food or something. No, you focus on the great pit of cat dirt that's now in your lawn. That's much easier to comprehend and that's much easier to deal with. What's the harm in focusing on small things? It keeps us occupied and it's not too much to handle.

I've been doing a bit of a self-assessment again (don't look at me like that; there's not much else to do at home). I think I'm beginning to lose a lot of my fear when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I've begun to develop a more 'why the hell not' approach when it comes to people I'm close with. My thinking is that there are certain people that are going to be a part of my life for the remainder of said life. That's pretty cool. And when I know that a person is one of those people, I know that they will take whatever I say with its best intentions and that it'll be okay. Your true friends are the ones that don't hate you for your flaws. So if you do something stupid or say something really off-colour or are completely offensive, they'll point that out to you and you will feel properly ashamed and all will be well in relatively short order. Yes, you'll have fights and tiffs and all that, but it'll end and things'll be good again. If you're honest with one another, you've nothing to fear.

I once read this sign--on a church billboard no less; can you imagine?--that read 'Love is blind but friendship tries not to notice'. I see one very fatal flaw in this statement. All of my friends--all of my really close friends, that is--do notice. They make a point of noticing. Then they take the piss until I admit that they're right and it becomes a crude inside joke. I do the same to all of them. Love is blind, but friendship points and laughs. Your true friend can call you a chauvinistic asshole and you know that you'll still be 'round their house for drinks next Saturday.

Keeping up a conversation with an ex is incredibly difficult. I'm startiing to wonder if the ends are going to justify the means in any way, shape, or form. Bloody boys.

You know what? People are strange. And it's wonderful that they're made that way. You've got to find your odd little niche in the world and make whatever impact you've got and you need to be damn proud of the odd little quirks that make you strange. Because we all know that you do those weird little things that you do. We all know you read Harry Potter fanfiction and you really like the colour red and sometimes, when you think no one's looking, you pick your nose. Everybody does things like that, things they're embarrassed about or don't tell anyone because they think they'll be judged. But that's just it: everybody does things like that. For God's sake, we're all completely off our rockers anyway! Why do you think normal people are so bloody scary? BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING INTERESTING ABOUT THEM AT ALL!

Me? I masturbate my tummy when I'm on the phone with 'certain people'. It's a compliment; I swear.

Without our flaws, we become products of indecency. And not the fun sexy type.