sunday morning. or saturday night.

today i feel: pretty okay
today i'm hearing: the humidifier next to me
today i'm thinking: it's time to face the music

Well, here I am: the night before I head back to Car-bon-duh-lay, folding laundry and discussing housing for the summer. It's been an okay break. Got to see all the people I knew I had to see, ate a lot of crap I knew I shouldn't eat, thought things I told myself I wasn't going to think. It is most assuredly time to go back to school and deal with all of this 'life' nonsense again. It'll be good, I suppose. Better than letting it fester. ...More than I all-ready have.

Yes, adulthood sucks. But consider the alternative.

There's a lot of bull in being home. A lot. I'm sick of all the dangling conversations and the things that aren't being said. There's been a lot of that going on. I think I've gotten brassier at school, because I don't really hold back anymore. Well, not on most things. But that doesn't happen here. Here is stagnant and censored and there are too many things that I don't want to think about anymore. I love the people, but I hate the place. I hate that I come back here and I have the same problems here that I had when I last left.

Tonight I realised that I'd never told my oldest friend one of the most important things in my life. And that really hurt. I hate to think that I'm running away from my past. Then I realise that I am.

I was talking to Stacy tonight about how we should always say how we feel about people to their face, even if it seems inappropriate. Because we never know what's going to happen to people, what will happen to us. We shouldn't bullshit people, and we shouldn't leave things out. I don't know if I can believe that for self-preservational purposes. I know that it's true, but I don't think I can do it all the time. I don't think I can do a lot of things that I know are true and right and good.

But it's too late to start thinking about that right now.