we'll float on anyway

mood: here
music: ben lee -- float on (cover)
CPCetc:well now that's done.

Important Things I Have Learned in the Past Twenty-Four Hours

1. Cracking your back is a bad idea. So is skipping breakfast. So is eating pudding when you shouldn't.
2. Just because soup looks like my cat's vomit doesn't mean that's actually how it tastes. It also doesn't mean that's how it doesn't taste.
3. Starting Nick Hornby after ten p.m. is a bad thing to do if you have class at nine.
4. While, yes, Camels smell really great, they are very easy to inhale when you should exhale.
5. Don't start walking around campus at night when you've forgotten to do your Speech homework.
6. Don't buy cigarettes when you're upset. Especially if you're asthmatic and/or on the brink of tears.
7. Do leave said cigarettes with someone else so that you don't actually smoke the entire pack as per expected.
8. Don't come anywhere near your mobile if you're upset.
9. If you do come near said mobile when you're upset, don't do it twice.
10. Roommates are sometimes the best people to talk to about things you don't want to talk about.

As you can likely tell, last night was both eventful and devastating. But I think I've learned something from it, which is theoretically good. Not really, but kind of. Now it's time to clean up and clean out and just repair all of the stupid things I fucked-up yesterday. Which may be easier than I think or maybe not.

I need to give Craig a call at some point in time and thank him for keeping me from doing something especially stupid yesterday. It was a distinct possibility that such things were going to happen. And I need to make it up to Matt. Don't know if he'll let me, but I'm going to try. I need to actually do my homework as well. Just get it done and over and hope for the best. I think I'm going to skip Shabbat again. I know, I know, it really isn't something to do and I did make a reservation and all that but I just don't have the cash (literally cash and not money in general) and I don't think my first real experience should be when I'm like this. I'll get down my Tanakh and do my readings and hopefully find myself closer to G-d or what have you. This week's reading is Parashat Ki Tavo. I hope I can find that.

I need a holiday. A very, very long holiday. Or just some significant, impressive change for my own betterment. I don't really know what I need right now, actually. Just something different, something to distract me and keep me safe from myself and this feeling for a little while. I need to change. Again. Didn't I just do that?

And here I thought I wanted to be alone for a while.