why can't we be friends?

mood: introspective
music: the clock in the next room
CPCetc: hate is just the absence of love

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Out of boredom and rather unconciously, I found myself reading Megan's blog, which she hasn't updated in ages. I found myself coming across a post she made one of the days that Rev. Phelps came into town. She was talking about a conversation she had with a couple of the people there and how it had made her really upset and irritated.

Megan is one of my few really Christian friends. I mean, she's super devout and reads her bible every night and has this strange ability to spout bible verses off the top of her head. This is the person I've had countless debates with about how it wasn't good for me to be "forsaking Jesus" and why she believed that homosexuals were going to have a hard time getting into heaven (her belief, if I remember correctly, is that God/Jesus loves them, but he doesn't agree with what they do. Love the sinner, hate the sin type of deal). She's one of the few people who can have beliefs like that and tell me about them without me getting really irritated and spouting off on how conservative she's being and how she doesn't understand homosexuality at all.

Honestly, she's one of the nicest people I've met and, while she'd still be trying to convert me if we still talked, she seems to have come to this understanding that I can't change and don't want to anyway. Which is comforting because I know that she can't change and doesn't want to either. It creates a strange sort of harmony.

I don't really know why we don't talk anymore and it makes me kind of sad. Something tells me it's along the lines of my being an outspoken bisexual, but I really hope that's not the case. Because our personalities are really complementary and she helped me out of a really deep slump back in middle school. It's hard to forget someone who can see through your masks when you don't want them to.

But anyway, I was reading this post of hers and thinking about Rev. Phelps and I've decided something. There are a lot of douche bags in the world who would probably hate me the second they met me or saw me or anything like that. And there are some people that all-ready do and I don't even know who they are but they seem to know me and where I live and what my car looks like. And these people are really hurtful and cruel and they do really awful, stupid things without any reason or, at least, without any reason that actually makes sense or is valid. But you know what? I don't care about them.

I'm really tired of people hiding who they are because of ignorant people. I'm tired of watching them being frightened of mean, hateful people that will probably never come into their lives again. I'm tired of being worried about someone coming and paintballing my house again because they're too much of a coward to bring their problems forward and tell me about it. Life's to short and too hard to be pulling shite like that.

You know what? If you're reading this and you have a problem with me, just fucking say it! Don't go and vandalise my car or my parent's house or leave empty threats in my locker or throw stuff at my lunch table. That's stupid and childish and it's not going to accomplish anything. If you don't like who I am, that's something for you and I to discuss. It's not something you need to take out on other people. It's not their fault that I'm bisexual or Jewish or have no sense of style or whatever it is you hate me for; it's mine. Just get some balls and say something to me.

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...Sorry 'bout that. Feeling kind of wonky today. *shrugs*