i found a fatal flaw in the logic of love

today i feel: inefficient
today i'm hearing: ben folds -- silver street
today i'm thinking: it's gonna be a long week

Firstly, thank you for your thoughts on my current situation. They really did (and do!) mean a lot to me. I'll be sending in my application sometime this week and we'll just have to wait and see, wait and see. I'll keep you posted.

Secondly, please don't leave anonymous comments on this blog. For serious, guys. We're all adults here. Let's act like that. If you're going to say something hurtful or biting or bitchy, please at least balls up and put your name behind it. That kind of passive-aggression should be reserved for my mother. For serious.

Now onto other things.

I was planning to be productive this weekend. Best laid plans, right? I got a lot of work done on my actors packet for The Full Monty yesterday, and that's super-good. I finished my paper for English tonight, and that's pretty cool, too (please note: I have no idea if it actually makes any sense, but the whole assignment was kind of sketchy to begin with). However, I did not study for my Tuesday midterm or write my Thursday précise or read Death and the King's Horseman or Life on the Mississippi and I most certainly did not work on the pretty massive presentation I have in German on Friday (though I have decided to steal the English copy from Dr Huth as German academic writing is way too much passive for me to actually understand). Instead, I went to Bill A of Journeys (our Winter One-Acts) Saturday night and spent several great hours at Denny's bitching about life with my friend Lisa. And then today I went to breakfast today (my friend Marina was visiting from Chicago), saw Clarky's beau's apartment, went to Bill B of Journeys, and spent some quality time with Randy, mending some stuff that needed mending. I'd like to consider this time well spent, even if it is hell on my academics.

However, this leads me to an earlier postulate that I would like to discuss: it's gonna be a long week.

Not only do I have a rather draining academic schedule ahead of me, this is my last week before Monty rehearsals start. So I've got a lot of paperwork to prepare before next Monday evening rolls around. That's more irritating than difficult, and I will no doubt spend most of next Saturday working on all of that. I just need to buckle down and do it. And then it's done. Super-good.

However, this week is already looking like an emotionally-jarring one. Randy and I (yes, I know, old topic) talked about some things that needed to be talked about, but they're nonetheless things I don't want to talk/think/etc. about. And what he was saying brought back that whole 'hope' thing, which I'm really getting sick of, by the way. Fuck Hope. Fuck Love. Fuck them in the ear. I'm so sick of them. Hope is a salty bitch. And love just kind of sucks. Unless you've got it and you're married and stuff, and then it's okay.

That and I'm getting back to that whole tired-but-can't-sleep thing. Which is particularly problematic tonight, considering the fact that my boss, who is an asshole, has me scheduled for an 8 AM tour at the Rec tomorrow (and another at 9.30. As stated: asshole). So I kind of need to get up tomorrow morning. This displeases me.

I think I need to start keeping a really strict schedule. Maybe that'll help with all the Hope and homework and ickiness. One can always hope, right? Sure, Kiri.

Thanks for listenin'.