today i feel: all-together awful
today i'm hearing: the train coming through town
today i'm thinking: it's just not my day today
today i'm hearing: the train coming through town
today i'm thinking: it's just not my day today
I've got a very awkward feeling of lonesomeness right now. And I know I should probably call someone so that I'm not by myself and in a somewhat dangerous place (especially since Chelsea's subtext when I last talked to her was 'Call me or I'll kick y our ass to oblivion), but I've gotten kind of used to being lonely and I know that whomever I'm with will eventually have to go to sleep or go home or take me home or whatever and the whole issue will just start all over again. I wish I had a daemon. Or a pet. Or something. As awesome as Burkina is, he doesn't count.
I apparently haven't graduated to the 21st Century, as I failed to figure out how to tape Lost tonight. Does anyone have a copy they want to throw at me before next Thursday? Please, take pity on the technologically retarded.
It snowed today. All day. It rarely snows in Carbondale, and they're threatening eight inches for tomorrow and the weekend. I'm supposed to have tours this weekend. We'll see how that goes. I'm probably going to drop my boss a line and tell him that I'm sick as a dog (which I am) and might not make it (which I might not). It's cold outside and my throat is all-ready killing me. I really don't want to make it worse.
This weekend, I plan to sequester myself in my den of illness (also known as my room). But I will go see There Will Be Blood. Because I wanna and I have a Five Buck Club Card and it is less expensive that way, thus I feel no guilt. And I wanna. Really, really bad. I'm not making sense anymore.
I'd go to bed, but I know I won't sleep. It all seems kind of pointless right now.
Fuckin' Randy.
2 comments:
If I weren't five hours away I would have cuddled you and not gone home! Much love! I can't wait to see you when you come home!
you know, existentialism is essentially understanding that your are, at heart, spiritually, alone within your skin. So what? The human alone does not exist alone; there are always the complications of family, friends, romance, and children. Wherever you are now is only a small instance in the arc of your being. You always effect other human beings in ways greater and lesser and they effect you too. Admit this and you have gained the essential wisdom of the greek mystery religions (of which all the religions based on the concept of "gnosses" experienced trancendance, are part). We are not alone, no matter how alone we feel.
Post a Comment