today i feel: done
today i'm hearing: angels of light -- my sister said
today i'm thinking: i thought i was the smart one...
today i'm hearing: angels of light -- my sister said
today i'm thinking: i thought i was the smart one...
Today I got a letter from the bank. It was not a happy letter. But today I also ran some errands to return stuff that I did not need to own. So I have a little bit to cover my ass, but not much. I'm going to be working at the Auction Gallery (hopefully) come January, so that'll do quite a bit to help, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to get to Chicago next week like I was hoping. WHICH SUCKS! Gah. I hate life so damn much sometimes.
Other crappy things that happened today: my grandparents are growing crazier by the day. Today, the crisis was a missing chicken. I know. They are completely insane. My mother and I went on an epic search and found the goddamn chicken (and Mum stole some embroidery thread from my grandmother's stash. It was very amusing), as well as a box filled with bags. That had bags in them. Because they are COMPLETELY INSANE. Mum and I came home victorious, but distraught. My grandparents continued to call throughout the afternoon, though, thankfully, the chicken talk stopped after Mum reassured my grandfather that we had found the chicken (or at least a chicken) and all was right with the world.
Well, sorta.
My grandmother has a blood clot in her leg. This should've been pretty obvious, considering the fact that her ankle is the size of a very healthy grapefruit and she's been complaining of leg pain for quite some time. But, despite my mother's insistence that she needed to get checked out, Grandpa didn't take her to a doctor. Until today. He promptly freaked out and sent her for a sonogram where, lo and behold, they determined she had a blood clot! How crazy! So now she's on more meds and my grandpa has to give her a shot once a day for the next ten days, but Grandpa is incompetent and Grandma doesn't trust him so maybe could my da do it maybe? It's a mess. Grandpa has also seemed to forgotten that blood clots mean you can't do a whole lot or they burst and, haha guess what, you die. Because he wants to go to lunch tomorrow. Grandma...should be in bed. Or sitting. Or NOT MOVING GRANDPA WHY ARE YOU SO CRAZY?!
Jesus Christ.
I love my parents. I know I write a lot about how my mum drives me batshit and I wish she would do something active and I wish Da would come out and all, but they really are wonderful people and, sometimes, they have wonderful moments. I was upset earlier tonight and talking to them as they were getting ready for bed. They were lying down and Spammy Dog was in the middle and Snowflake was being a bitch and they were laughing and joking and it was wonderful. It really was. They have such a great friendship. I don't think my parents are really in love anymore, and I'm okay with that. Because they're so close and they do love each other, even if it's not like that anymore. They've stayed together for thirty one years tomorrow. I think that's really neat.
I also think they have a helluva lot more patience than I ever will, but that's another story.
I'm glad that I have parents like them. As crazy and unstable and weird as they are, they do care about me and I know they'd help me if they could and if I only just asked. Of course, I don't really ask that often because I know they would do it and I'm not my brother, thank you, but it's cool to have that. I know a lot of people who don't. I got a pretty good deal, all in all. I hope I can figure out whatever it is that they've figured out so that I can have someone around for thirty-one years without tearing off their balls, either physical or metaphorical (not to mention vise versa).
I wish I could get some sleep these days. I'm just not...sleepy. I guess. Tired as hell, yes, but not enough or too much, maybe, to sleep.
I wish I had a mouse. I would name him Elliott.
1 comment:
Elliott, with two t's? I'm sure there is a reason behind this, lurking somewhere.
Love is a funny subject. Been there too much and not enough some times. There are all kinds of versions of the emotion. I think people that have been together as long as your folks know quite a bit about each other. I think they are probably in love in a way you don't recognize yet. Maybe not, but I'm thinking that comfort with each other and a recognition of who each other is and their limits and their strengths is truly where you go when you stay with someone for many years.
Of course people change, or what they have hidden will come out. I was with Becky Bradway 14 years from start to finish. I don't think I changed, but I think a lot of who she really was emerged over time because it needed too. Can't plan for stuff like that. Can't even really see it coming.
And I lived with another person for 8 1/2 years, discovering in the process that we needed very different things from each other.
It is no doubt a triumph and a good thing to live togetrher as long as your folks and still like each other. Love can maintain in the face of real irritation and character flaws, but keeping the liking going, that is really hard.
Well, you've read my poems, so you know that I haven't a real clue as to romance. But I do love Kimberly and hope to be with her to the end of my days. And then I hope she finds someone else who knows how special she is, because she is bound to be a pretty young woman, still, when I cross over (as they say). I have really lucked out this time. And I know it. Maybe it took me a long time to realize that. Dunno how it works. I would never have split up with BB, but I am very glad that that happened and I am with Kimberly now. So much better for me. And I get Piper out of it and she, and Paige and Joel, are what is really important in this life, for me anyway. I turnout to be primarily a breeder. Pretty funny, though I did have a lot of hot sex along the way and a ton of heartbreak.
As for your grandparents: they are old and not remembering everything. That happens to most people. Try and be as generous as you can with them, but recognize that people don't change much after about 35-45. Way it is. And they loved their children the way your parents love you.
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