day one

mood: better
music: abba on loop in my brain
CPCetc: mrph! so difficult!

I just turned down two separate invitations for dinner company. For those of you that are concerned, THIS IS NOT BECAUSE I'M ANTI-SOCIAL! I actually didn't eat lunch until three o'clock. I just feel really bad about it. I'm not a recluse, honest! Just very unhungry. Mrph.

I'm moved in. Oh joy? I don't know. Now that I'm here it's not so bad. I mean, it's kind of lonely and VERY awkward. My roommates a very sweet girl and I really like her so far, but we don't know how to act around each other. It's strange. We both like cats (her a bit more vocally than I) and we seem to have a very similar taste in film. (I took a glance at her collection. Unethical? Perhaps.) But there are some very serious differences that are incredibly apparent now that I'm here. Religion is definitely a big one. Chelsea's Christian. I only know this because she's wearing a cross necklace, and not the gothic, fashionable kind. I got out all of my books and started putting them on the shelf. Course catalogue, Oscar Wilde, Thesaurus, HEBREW FOR DUMMIES, Tolkien, JEWISH BIBLE, John Irving, TRACEY COX'S HOT SEX: HOW TO DO IT. It looks like there might be a few issues that ould arise. Probably nothing terribly overwhelming or anything, but there are some definite differences. I don't think she's a prude or anything, I don't really know. So far as I can tell she doesn't think I'm a completely amoral floozy, but it's kind of hard to tell.

But anyway.

I'm feeling strangely fine now that I've actually moved in. It's not so bad; certainly not as bad as I thought it would be. I've been so worried about it and so sad. I mean, I'm sad about it still, and every time I think about being sad I get sadder. Which happens a lot. Every time I realise that I'm not home anymore and I'm not going to see my friends/family/cat tomorrow I feel like hell. But if I don't think about it, I'm okay. I'm sure I'll have a harder time tonight when I don't have anything to distract me from it.

It's strangely quiet in the dorm rooms. I realise that I'm on the top-floor, corner-room, but I still didn't think it would be this quiet. We haven't heard anything from our suitemates yet, which is likely part of it. Or I could just be noticing things that aren't abnormal or particularly obvious. I've been doing that a bit recently.

Someday I'll try writing something interesting. That would be new.

If you're pining for contact information on yours truly, drop me a line and I'll send it to you. I realise how ridiculous that sounds, but that's the system I live by. I will always have my mobile on except during classes, so feel free to call me anytime. I'll pick up. I'll even talk to you! How's that for a deal?

In the meantime, I'm going to remain alone and silent in my dark, empty room like the emo-kid I so obviously am.