looking for a soul to steal

mood: amused
music: as time goes by
CPCetc: and cynicism rings forth!

** ** ** **


Every now and then, I get a history kick and go crazy researching something. In fifth year, it was the Holocaust. In sixth year, it was Greek mythology. Last year, it was Oscar Wilde. But this... This is the summer of antisemitism. (and no, it does not have a god damned hyphen. damnit!)

Long story short, I am utterly fascinated by this. And I'm not meaning that in a perverse way, of course not. I'm not, never have been and never will be antisemitic or anti-Jewish (that, however, does have a hyphen) as you all ought to know. But my parents still aren't kosher about this whole conversion thing, so I do what I can. And now I'm obsessed with this ridiculously pointless form of hatred.

But anyway, to make a long story slightly shorter, I'm attempting to get my fingers on a real-as-corn book-copy of The Protocols of the Meetings of the Learned Elders of Zion. For those of you who have heard many of my Cambridge stories, when this little number was brought up in my Jewish Cultural History class, no one but myself, Anne and my teacher seemed to know what it was. So I gave a short synopsis. It went as thus:


Kiri: This is going to be really biased because... I really don't like the Protocols...

Anthony: ...Good!


*watches audience's lack of reaction* Okay, you had to be there. But! This book is... gah. Basic plot premisis goes as such:

The ev0l Jews team up with the equally ev0l freemasons!! They're going to take over the world! Eek! What shall we poor, innocent, meek, defenceless Christians do?? Oh!!! Woe is us!!! Woe is us!!! We obviously have no power in the world, despite the fact that the majority of the world powers belong to us!!! And ignoring the fact that all of the others hate the Jews too! Oh, no!!! We're going to die at the hands of the anti-baconers!!!!! Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahl!!!!!!!


...But I'm not bitter. Basically, it was a huge forgery by Sergei Nilus off of a satirical piece on Napolean Bonaparte. ...What Napolean has to do with Jews, I don't know. It was fully published in 1905 to rousing applause because, let's face it, everyone in 1905 hated the Jews. What really gives me a kick is that it was destributed all over A-Mary-Kay by none other than Henry Ford! That's right! Ford! As in Model T! As in assembly lines! Yeah! Guess why Kiri doesn't buy the fruits of his loins. That, and they're ass-ugly cars anyway.

It's impossible to get a hold of this book, for obvious reasons. No self-respecting bookshop is going to be carrying the most infamous antisemitic text in history! Think what the neighbour's would say! So I'm contenting myself with various interweb documents. And I've found my favourite.

The person who wrote this is my new best friend.