growing pains

mood: affronted
music: sammy being spastic
CPCetc: ::scream scream::

The car wouldn't start this morning, so a.) Kiri had no car and b.) Da took it in to see what was wrong. He had to pay one hundred-fifty-four dollars for this. He also found some rather conspicuous damage to the front of the car. He confronted me.

Okay, Da, let me explain something to you. I am sixteen-years-old, the youngest child in our awing family of two and fairly well-versed in the world for a person of my age and standing. I also have been a fairly easy, reasonable child compared to my elder brother. I lie to you, I stretch the truth and I leave out important little details such as the exact reasons for why Bozarth and I are not an "item" and why it was that I had bruises on my neck a while back and why I didn't sleep at all on New Year's Eve. But I have never in my life lied to you about something incredibly important. If I had been in a major accident--which I haven't--and the car had received a considerable amount of damage as fault of mine, I wouldn't just not tell you! Firstly, that's stupid and you're not, much as I'd like you to be. God knows my life would be a helluva lot easier.

And the fact that you accused me of lying is not only hurtful and insulting but completely unreasonable! When have I ever earned this kind of degradation? The reason why I don't tell you the things that I really wish I could is because I know that you wouldn't deal well with them. You wouldn't accept them or me and our lives would be filled with far more trauma than they really need to be. Let's just accept the fact that you had a plan for the way I was going to be and you're pissed as all fuck that it didn't work out that way and I have no reason to deter it any further. I mean, I all-ready hate dresses, girl-shoes and Jesus, not to mention my ascent into the world of ::gasp:: alternative rock. Why add in the faults of my sexuality, language and chosen activities when secluded with certain ::cough cough:: persons?

I mean, I didn't ever plan being kicked out of my house by the age of seventeen. It... it doesn't work out well.

I'm not lying to you about this, Da. I don't know what happened to the fender or the hood and I don't know why the grill is missing parts. Okay? And I told you what happened with the Parking Nazis and I'm sorry you payed for it even though I was going to. Okay? I can't do anything more than that! I'm giving you my god damned honesty and a good, Christian apology and I can't do any more, okay? I mean, I'm all-ready gagging on the snugglebunny-ness of it all. And if you really do want me to tell you all the things that are important to me, you're going to have to trust me a bit. I trust you! Well, I did. Not even that long ago.

Christ, my family's breaking. Right in half. Parents against children, children against God. And I don't even know if I fucking care anymore.

Kiri


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